So It Goes...

Driving home after the hospital was a blur. Driving on instinct more than anything else.  Lucky it wasn't a far drive.

When I walked into the house, I went straight to my sister Denise's room.  We both looked at each other, and I shook my head and sighed.  Then we just hugged and began the longest and tightest embrace I think I've ever had in my life. Neither of us broke down, not from lack of sadness, but rather from the shock that we were both feeling.  Then we just sat on her bed and talked about the whole ordeal.

After that, I went to the funeral parlor with Alan to make arrangements and decisions I never had to make before in my life.  Decisions that I don't know if I was even allowed to make since Chris was still legally married.  Nonetheless, I knew it was Chris' wish to be cremated, so I made that decision. As far as the wake and funeral though, I just told the funeral director that my parents would be arriving tomorrow, and we we would finalize everything then.

Well true to his word, Ed was at my house like 4 hrs. later, though I was at the funeral parlor at the time.  When I got home, Denise said Ed was over but just went to buy some cigarettes, which I remembered we smoked a lot of that day/week.  He also brought lots of lunch meat: ham, bologna, roast beef, turkey breast, etc.  I must say everyone was quite impressed with this gesture. But since he went through this before with the deaths of his father and brother, he knew "mourning etiquette".  It was quote thoughtful, though I don't remember eating anything that day.

He stayed with me that night till like 11:00 pm, and he drove him home.  When I got home, I finally called my mom/dad.  As everyone else, they were shocked, but stronger than I expected.  Maybe they expected it because he was sick, maybe they were being strong for Denise and I, maybe they were just so removed from the situation that it didn't register as much as I though it would/should. I don't know.  They say nothing is worse than a parent having to bury their child, but I didn't get that impression from my parents.  Oh well.