Another Rock Star gone too soon...

Partridge Family Daughter 'Tracy' Dead at 52 http://www.newser.com/story/206087/partridge-family-daughter-tracy-dead-at-52.html


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The Times They Are a Changed!

Not really sure why I started posting to this blog.  Maybe multiple reasons: boredom, my catharsis, last will and testament?  Not sure, but here I am.  Since Ed moved along, it seems like more things in life just don't ass up.  Maybe I need someone as a soundboard, someone who will listen and agree or listen and tell me what's wrong with my thinking.  It's good to have someone play Devi's advocate.  Ed was great at that.  And vice-versa.  We would even say we were playing Devil's advocate, just so the other knew it wasn't personal or anything.  I always said Ed was my brother, not by birth but by choice, so in a way, I've lost 2 brothers.   Damn, I miss him.


Turn Turn Turn...

Today it's been 12 yrs. since Chris passed away.  Though I still feel like he is here with me, it does feel like a long time. I was thinking of all the things that have happened since then.  Iraq war, first black President, Superstorm Sandy, Facebook, Twitter, the iPad, etc...But he missed the most IMPORTANT event that happened 5 months after his passing, the birth of mine (and his) nephew, Florentino Christopher Garguilo (try saying that 10 times fast).

Though he wasn't around for his birth,  he was there in our thoughts and in our heart.  Chris wasn't good with kids, never knew how to act or talk to them, but he would've loved Tino like he was his own.  Since he was unable to have kids of his own because of his illness (Systemic Lupus, don't know if I mentioned what ailed him), I know he would've treated Tino as his own.  Looking out for him, teaching him about computers, taking him places (if Denise would allow it), showered him with gifts, teasing him (though he would've learned quickly Tino wouldn't like that) and most of all, like I said, loved him and cared for him like he was his own.

I just feel sad and sorry, that he never got to see him, and that Tino never got to see him.  To never experience how funny, smart, and unique that Tino is.  And it's even sadder that he didn't get to watch Tino grow up to be the good, caring, loving, insightful boy that he is.  But I think that the saddest thin is that Chris never got to see the joy and love that Tino brought to Denise.  That would have made him proud to see how much love she has for him.

They say something good always comes out of something bad and that death always brings a new life, well from this experience I guess this is true.

Thinking of you Dude....


So It Goes...

Driving home after the hospital was a blur. Driving on instinct more than anything else.  Lucky it wasn't a far drive.

When I walked into the house, I went straight to my sister Denise's room.  We both looked at each other, and I shook my head and sighed.  Then we just hugged and began the longest and tightest embrace I think I've ever had in my life. Neither of us broke down, not from lack of sadness, but rather from the shock that we were both feeling.  Then we just sat on her bed and talked about the whole ordeal.

After that, I went to the funeral parlor with Alan to make arrangements and decisions I never had to make before in my life.  Decisions that I don't know if I was even allowed to make since Chris was still legally married.  Nonetheless, I knew it was Chris' wish to be cremated, so I made that decision. As far as the wake and funeral though, I just told the funeral director that my parents would be arriving tomorrow, and we we would finalize everything then.

Well true to his word, Ed was at my house like 4 hrs. later, though I was at the funeral parlor at the time.  When I got home, Denise said Ed was over but just went to buy some cigarettes, which I remembered we smoked a lot of that day/week.  He also brought lots of lunch meat: ham, bologna, roast beef, turkey breast, etc.  I must say everyone was quite impressed with this gesture. But since he went through this before with the deaths of his father and brother, he knew "mourning etiquette".  It was quote thoughtful, though I don't remember eating anything that day.

He stayed with me that night till like 11:00 pm, and he drove him home.  When I got home, I finally called my mom/dad.  As everyone else, they were shocked, but stronger than I expected.  Maybe they expected it because he was sick, maybe they were being strong for Denise and I, maybe they were just so removed from the situation that it didn't register as much as I though it would/should. I don't know.  They say nothing is worse than a parent having to bury their child, but I didn't get that impression from my parents.  Oh well.